My decision If it was time to go or stay
After my national youth service corps, I stayed with my mentor for a short while. While I was there, I worked unofficially as her PA. The time came when a PA was needed officially and it appeared I was the candidate, because I had done it before. It just felt logical to go back to take up the job.
BUT! There were other things I wanted to do. I wanted to learn another foreign language. I was caught in between two situations, the first being; working as a PA, which requires my whole attention and time. The other situation is following my plan of learning another foreign language which also requires my attention and time.
I did not know how to tell my mentor that I didn’t want to be recruited as her PA officially. I wasn’t ready to let go of my plan of learning another foreign language. Little did I know that my mentor was in the same situation as I was. God told her that I was not to be recruited as her PA officially, that there was someone else He had appointed to take up that job. And my mentor didn’t know how to relate this with me. She didn’t want to hurt my feeling and I didn’t want to hurt hers as well. So funny!
God’s wisdom in handling the situation
I prayed to God, I asked Him for wisdom on how to tell my mentor that I don’t want to be her PA. After praying and rehearsing my speech, I scheduled a meeting with her at the office. And when it was time, I went to her office and made my plans known to her. She was surprised and happy because telling me what God told her just became easy. We both laughed about the fact that we didn’t want to hurt each other’s feeling and most importantly thanked God for coming through for us.
This gave me a deeper and better understanding that: God is the Alpha and omega. Not only is He the beginning and the end, He knows the end from the beginning. He didn’t plan for me to take up the job as a PA, He had someone else for the job and He spoke to my mentor about it. Also, He gave me the wisdom to present my case before my mentor. We were both happy and grateful to God.
Whatever it is that you are not clear about, just PRAY about it, ask God for wisdom and He will surely give you. James 1:5 says “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you”.
Overcoming the fear of failure
So, while waiting for the new PA to come on board, my mentor and her family had to travel to Lagos state in Nigeria. And I was the only lady at home. Mummy told me “WE” were traveling to Lagos. I didn’t want to go because being the only lady in the house meant I get to do all the chores in the house especially cooking. I had no issues with doing other chores, the major issue I had was with COOKING. For no reason, I was scared of cooking. I felt the food won’t come out nice and I didn’t want to be criticized.
Criticism, when handled well fosters growth. I didn’t know how to handle criticism so I stayed away from cooking. But, thank God for His love, He placed me in a situation where I had no choice but to cook. I was with my mentor and her family for close to two weeks. I did all the chores, cooking inclusive. Infact, I did more of cooking than any other chore. I spent most of my time in the kitchen.
When I was done making breakfast, I started preparing lunch and after lunch, I take out time to rest before coming back for dinner. While doing this, the fear of cooking that I had left. I discovered that I was fearless whenever I was cooking. I had this mindset that: if I make mistake, I will be corrected and I will do better the next time.
In a space of two weeks I grew from being fearful to fearless. I cooked the seemingly difficult meals and my Pastor and my mentor loved it. Yes I made mistake, my Pastor corrected me and that was it. I was so happy that the fear of cooking was gone.Moreover, I now cook well; at least way better than I used to.
Planning the next phase of life with Femi
While I was in Lagos with my mentor and her family, Femi who also stayed in another part of Lagos was preparing to travel to France for his master degree in robotics engineering.
Let me do a quick flashback. After his NYSC, his boss offered him a full time job and the pay was quite attractive but, he turned down the offer because God told him to go back to the university he graduated from to enroll for post graduate diploma, a pre-requisite for obtaining a master degree in computer science since he didn’t have a background in computer science. In obedience to God’s instruction, he picked up the form and registered. During this program, he got an admission to a university in France for a master degree in Robotics engineering.
In preparation for his trip to France, we decided that he should meet my parents especially my Dad before he traveled. So, we scheduled a meeting with my Dad and he suggested that we get married before he traveled. This was our desire but financially, we weren’t ready. We told him this and he requested to meet Femi’s parent officially before he traveled and we agreed and a date was fixed for our parents to meet each other. On a Saturday we met my Dad and fixed the meeting for Saturday of the next week. We got back to Lagos and started making preparation.