The steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord. Yeah, this was my experience the day I met my best friend (before I met my husband).
I was in the company of my two friends who were also my course mates; Brenda and Becky when we ran into a friend who at that time wasn’t my friend. His name was Nathan (not his real name).
Nathan wasn’t bad looking. Hearing the conversation between him and my friends, I was impressed at his level of intelligence.
To crown it all, was his love for God. That became a focal point for us, the chassis on which our friendship was built. Little did we know that the friendship was a set up by God Himself.
Growing in friendship
As time went by, we became best friends. We were so close that he knew my siblings, spoke with my mum. I also knew members of his family and was privileged to meet his mum, sister and grandma.
His mum was my role model. She had a good and close relationship with Nathan and his sister (she has just two of them).
She literally played games with them, both outdoor (soccer) and indoor (monopoly and scrabble). That thrilled me a lot because I came from a family where none of such things happened. She was very neat and organized. I was endeared to his family. His mum would call my cell phone if she was unable to get through to Nathan.
We grew closer to each other as we would pray together, eat from the same plate and so on. His roommates and my roommates became suspicious and concluded that we were dating.
WHAT???? I was thrown aback by this. We were just innocently being friends with each other with no strings attached. It took me a while to stop convincing people that we were not dating.
Nathan and I were praying at the sport complex in my school one day and the Holy Spirit told me and showed me somethings about him(future). I communicated those things with him, we rejoiced and we left.
It never crossed my mind that the eros type of love would happen between myself and Nathan. I was just enjoying the innocent friendship until I was faced with the reality of it.
My love for Nathan began to grow not just as a brother in Christ but as a boyfriend. I could not hide it any longer, I LOVED NATHAN. I gathered the courage and told him.
Yes, I told him exactly how I felt about him. Hahahahahahaha. I was shocked at his response. He said he felt the same way about me, which was the reason he had been avoiding me.
Deep within me, I was very happy and unhappy at the same time. I was happy because the feeling was mutual and we were sincere about it, which made me value the friendship more.
SINCERITY is a great virtue that must be present in a relationship, even in your relationship with God, BE SINCERE. Speak the truth, stand for the truth no matter what.
Nathan told me the feeling was mutual, but we both knew we couldn’t take a step further. The relationship had to remain on that level of loving each other with the love of God (agape). Seeing and relating with each other as a brother and sister in Christ, not more than that.
My love for God was tested
From the inception of the relationship, God told us the purpose of it. We were to strengthen each other via prayer, and studying the Bible. I felt like a huge rock was thrown at me.
I went to God in prayer that night and asked God why? “God, why would you allow this happen to me? This is the first guy I would love genuinely, innocently with all sincerity. I mean I love Nathan. Why?”
I wept bitterly that night, I felt heart broken, I felt hurt and I was angry at God. Yes, I was angry at Him that night. The anger lasted a couple of minutes as I knew that I couldn’t stay angry with God for long.
Over the course of my short walk with Him, I had come to know that He loves me and He cares for me. When I was done crying, I heard God say to me;
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways. For as the heaven is higher than the earth so are my ways.” Isa 55:8-9
“I know the thoughts that I think towards you, thoughts of peace not of evil, to give you a future and a hope” Jer 29:11.
Surrendering to God
I cried some more and when I was done, I said
“Lord this is hard, help me to go through this. I thank you for your thought towards me are that of peace. I choose to follow you even though it’s hard.” And I busted into tears again.
I eventually stopped crying and went to my room that night. But I learnt a lesson from this experience: walking with God is not always a bed of roses. Situations will come to test your love for God.
It is easy to say Lord I love you when things are sweet and going according to plan. But can you say Lord I love you when it’s ugly and things are going in the opposite direction? It might not be easy but trust me, it is worth it.
Jesus said to His disciples “if you love me, Keep my commandment” John 14:15. Another translation says; “if you love me, show it by doing what I’ve told you”(MSG) in other words, “if you love me, do what I tell you to do”.
Have you had a similar experience? Where you had to let go of something you cherished? How did you feel?