My friend woke me from my low self esteem

Twelve months had gone by and I was in my second year in the University. I met a lot of people, some I related well with and some I couldn’t because of low self esteem.

Yes I had low self esteem even though I had given my life to Christ. I was beautiful, had the flat tummy alongside the figure eight, with the dark and long hair; I never saw myself as beautiful.

It got so bad that when people pass a complement about my beauty (especially my shape) I did not believe them. I had an experience that changed my perception of me. So on this day, I was walking with my friend Brenda and we ran into this cute, pretty lady.

I appreciated her beauty by passing this comment; “wow she’s beautiful”. I was shocked at and changed by Brenda’s response.

Brenda: You appreciate others and you don’t appreciate yourself”.

And she shouts: “you are beautiful, accept it and appreciate yourself”.

Her shout worked the miracle as it dawned on me that I was actually beautiful. Thanks to my lovely friend Brenda.

As an eight year old girl, one of my desires was to be slim, tall, beautiful, have long hair. Whenever I get to a place, all heads should turn and all attention should be on me.

Hahahaha. Funny right? It turned out that I got what I dreamt of as a girl. This bible verse comes to mind: “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he”. Proverbs 23:7.

Yes, I got what I wanted.

My new found family

As I got to the drama rehearsal (I joined a drama group because I loved acting). My first day at the rehearsal, all attention was on me (not because I was pretty but because I was a new member).  Hahahaha.

I was given a role to play on my first day. The lady that the role was given to initially couldn’t make it to rehearsal that day. She was studying to become a pharmacist.

Yeah. I was very happy and timid at the same time because it was my first time of acting before an audience. All the acting I did before then was in my head. The script was given to me, I went through my lines and when it was time for me to act I did it effortlessly.

I played the role of a young beautiful lady, who was in love with a beautiful, not so rich young man. I can’t remember what happened to the young man and me.

Going for drama rehearsal became a part of my schedule. I always looked forward to it because I made new friends and I was able to relate well with almost everyone. We loved and cared for each other as though we were members of a family. Little did I know that God was up to something.

God was up to something

Back then, we had a tradition in the drama group. At the start of a new school year, the university organizes a welcome ceremony for new students and we were opportune to present a play.

So, in preparation for this welcome ceremony, we had to rehearse. The hostels were locked as the current school year had ended, waiting for the new school year to begin. We got a venue for the purpose of rehearsing.

I couldn’t join the rehearsal early enough, I had to persuade and convince my mum. She eventually released me to go for the rehearsal. On my first day at the rehearsal, I was greeted with a loud shout of rejoicing. They were happy to see me. I think it was our culture as a group to welcome any member of the group with shouts of joy.

Meeting my Destiny friend

So, when I got to there, everyone came out, shouted, hugged and carried me. We had finished shouting and hugging, when a slim, young guy named Femi walked into our midst majestically.

Obviously, he was walking towards me to say hello. He is a member of the group I had not met before now. We greeted each other and that was all. But trust me, I had this question in my mind; “why didn’t he come out when everyone else came out? Was it so that I could recognize him specially?”

Whatever! We continued rehearsing as the days went by and before we knew it, we resumed a new school year, did our drama presentation and we settled into receiving lectures again.

Femi and I became friends. We would see each other once in almost two weeks because I  didn’t want to be his friend. At this time, I enjoyed my relationship with God,  told Him everything and would  talk to me. I spoke to God about everything except my academics.

That was a hug mistake I made. I had challenges in my academics but didn’t talk to God about it. You know, I felt there were more important things to talk to God about than that. I was so engrossed in fulfilling God’s purpose for my life that I forgot that it is God’s will for me to perform excellently in my academics.

I forgot that God was interested in my academics as much as He is in other aspects of my life.  As a result, I didn’t do well in my first degree.

Learn about my destiny friend Femi The proposal